I miss my daughter while she’s at school. So when I go pick her up, I’m genuinely excited to see her. I always stand near the playground equipment waiting for her to come out.

I so want her to come running over to me, and give me a big, fat kiss. But there was a time when she didn’t. She’d burst out of the door, make a mad dash to another part of the playground and jump on the equipment with glee.

Truth be told, I felt sad when she did this. I’d be waiting all day to see her. I’d watch all the other mom’s getting hugs and kisses from their little people. I’d be all worked up for this grand mommy/daughter embrace – and she’d just zip right on past me. Not even so much as a wave or a wink.

One day something inside of me snapped. I got angry because I felt like she was purposely ignoring me. I took her out of the playground and scolded her about it.

“You see me standing there, and yet everyday you just run right past me! Why do you do that? You can’t stop for a minute to say hi? Geeez! Come on… that’s not right and you know it!”

The truth – as I later found out – is that she never noticed me standing there. Apparently, her long distance vision was getting worse and she needed glasses. She wasn’t ignoring me. She just didn’t see me.

The Pain of Being a “Poor Me” Person

I replayed that situation in my mind long after she got the glasses. It was a wake-up call of sorts. My assumptions gave me a feeling of anger and sadness, yet there was actually no reason for either of those emotions. It was a waste.

Apparently I needed another reminder of this fact because a similar situation occurred the other day. I was walking down the street happy as a lark, when an older woman crosses in front of me, giving me what looks like an “I-hate-you” sneer.

The schoolyard moment immediately played out in my mind.

And then I connected with her. I intuitively knew that even though she gave me a bad look, it wasn’t directed at me. I felt that something had just happened in the store that made her angry. I knew it. I rarely download information about people on the street, but I saw the entire scene in my head.

What You See is not a Test

Spirit apparently wasn’t finished explaining my displaced emotions. The big message came last.

I was listening to the Journey of Life podcast online. I tuned in because I kept feeling the name Callie in my mental airspace over the past few weeks, and they had a guest on last night by the name of Callie Claire. As soon as I heard that she was going to be on the show, I knew I was meant to hear her.

The show was just about over, and although I’d heard a few things that resonated with me, I didn’t get that magical ‘click.’

Maybe 10-15 minutes before the show ended (it’s a 90 minute show) Callie starts talking about taking in other peoples anger.

She said she’s realized that when someone else is mad, their anger has nothing to do with her. Perhaps they started their day off on the wrong foot, or maybe they’ve got a sick child at home while they’ve got to be at work. Either way, she doesn’t allow herself to become unseated because of it.

That’s what I was waiting for. That was the reason why I kept getting this vision of Callie in my head. (I didn’t know who she was prior to that broadcast.)

Contrary to the “poor me” beliefs that I like to lean back on, the worlds negativity really isn’t directed at me 99.9% of the time. And if that holds true for me, it holds true for everybody else.

Your Assignment, Should You Choose to Accept It:

How many times have you allowed yourself to be thrown off course because someone else “made you mad?” How many times have you assumed that they were purposely hurtful to you?

I have friends whose days are filled with unnecessary debates with “nasty” cashiers and waiters. And yet, we never know what pain lies underneath someone else’s skin. We just assume that whatever their feeling is directed towards us. Really it’s not.

So this weekend I want you to observe with compassion. If you encounter an angry cashier, for example, don’t jump on the anxiety train with them. Know that whatever they’re going through has nothing to do with you. Simply complete your transaction, and silently send them love.

I’m going to tell you right now that it’s not always easy.

But even just making a conscious decision not to get sucked in to someone else’s emotions, changes you. Even if you don’t always succeed, you’re going to be much more likely to think about what you’re doing.

Change may not happen instantly, but it will happen.

Try it and be well.